This is definitely not a soccer scarf. It’s a proud and storied banner of the Whiskey Tribe.
The colors: This particular banner represents the pWeeBle’s choice, with a fancy gray complimenting an even fancier blue. Did I mention fancy?
Double sided: “Whiskey Tribe” on one side, “Magnificent Bastard” on the other - making it twice as easy to claim your victories.
100% Acrylic Fiber: Slightly less breathable than natural fibers, but extremely soft and hypoallergenic - because sneezing can give away your position.
62” long x 7” wide: (must… resist… joke…)
Sure, hordes of mooches have draped this banner around their necks to shield them from definitely-real-and-totally-not-joking Texas blizzards. And legions of hobbits have snuggled it’s supple fibers whilst smoking pipes and reading old books - for science.
But don’t let the stylish comfort of this Whiskey Tribe banner hide it’s true purpose… Ultimate glory.